today’s digital dualism reminder

This dose of Digital Dualism and IRL Fetish via a ridiculous post on social media and romance at The New York Times

Facebook is an imaginary world.

This is what I like to call digital dualism - my thoughts on that.


Just the other day, I was in a supermarket in Los Angeles and I saw this guy checking out this girl. He was standing next to her in line at the juice bar. He kept looking at her, and she kept looking down … at the Facebook app on her iPhone.

Now, I know some of you right now are thinking, maybe she wasn’t interested. That wasn’t the issue. Because what I’m about to share with you is something most of you have probably done.

He gave up and disappeared. But I was crazy curious so I stood next to her in line and got real close and peeked at what she was typing into her phone.

Her status update: When am I going to meet a nice guy? It seems like all the good men are taken.

Think about what just happened.

No. Way. That. Actually. Happened.

Wake up, and walk away from the social media every once in a while. Drop the smartphone.
This is classic IRL Fetish - as I explain here.
Sorry dude, but people do this all the time. In fact, ‘away from social media’ is where we do those things and take those photos we put on social media. Social-media and not-social-media are not zero-sum, they are not a trade-off. Research shows that people who spend more time on social media do, on average, more things offline (including civic activities, voting, but also meeting with more people face-to-face).